Creating the Next Hit Song

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What happens when you get together with the same friends every week, bi-weekly, or once-a-month to have a few drinks, make some delicious food, laugh, joke,  and watch a movie?

The answer may surprise you. The answer is creating the next hit song using lyrics such as the ones below. Now the real trick is that none of us have much musical talent — I know I sure don’t — and the fact that we may have had a few drinks so these lyrics may be really hard to actually sing. They did sound great when we created them though! However, I would love to extend a challenge to anyone who can turn the lyrics below into something amazing. If you can create a YouTube video or audio recording of a cool song with some of these lyrics, I’ll do something extra special for you!

Song Lyrics:
Twist it like your playing twistersong-lyric-image
Lick it like a postage stamp
Pop it like a Popsicle
Grind it like a pepper grinder.
Sample like a sample lady
Beat it like breakfast eggs
Watch it like a TV
Strip it like you strip wood
Poke it like a pillsbury dough boy
Rub it like a genie’s lamp
Stroke it like Tiger Woods
Shake it like a shake weight
Pump it like a super soaker
Row it like a row boat
Squirt it like a lemon
Pump it like Jane Fonda
Pump it like a shot gun
Burst it like a starburst
Gush it like a gusher
Squeeze it like a squeeze it
Juice it like a juice box
Drip it like a faucet
Make it wet like a fish out of see
Lick it like a tootsie pop
Pop it like pop rocks
Lick it like a fun dip stick
Shock it like a taser
Hit it like Chris Brown
Screw it like cork
Pop it like bottle cap
Whip it like a dominatrix
&$*# it like a bad day
Bark it like tree
Mix it like nesquick
Milk it like a cow
Suck it like a dirt devil

Can you think any other lines such as these? Which one is your favorite?