It is one of the most beautiful things I believe Mother Nature provides to us. It reminds us that we need cleansing, refreshing, and what it feels like to have something touch our skin and sooth us.
Lately it has been raining a lot here in Utah, and I’ve rather loved it. Not necessarily for the fact that we need water – as we live in a desert – but that it gets me thinking every time it rains about life; which I quite enjoy. Lately though – right on queue – it rains when something drastic happens in my life. And lately there seems to be lot of storms rolling through the Salt Lake valley. If you just put two and two together – you would then realize there seem to have been a lot of drastic things happening in my life recently.
I don’t want to say that I haven’t been brought down by these moments, because I have. However, within this state of mind, I’ve come to a ton of conclusions about life, where I am at, and where I want to be. The basis of these thoughts came back to those that I have in my life that surround me. Evaluating each relationship with the people in my life to determine how they can progress my life. Evaluating those that you are always with has been one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life; however, it has been the most rewarding things. Taking a step back to hopefully make several steps forward is something worth doing every now and again. I say hopefully because I am still learning to walk again it seems.
As with anything, things don’t always go as planned; emotions get in the way, and you sometimes get stuck within these and can’t think logically to save your life. That is exactly where I have been. Stuck emotionally in a situation that I continue to only fall further and further in. Logically I understood from early on that this was one of the dumbest things I could do with trying to progress my life, but I got caught up. It isn’t a bad thing, with the help of these emotions I have continued to learn a few things. One of those things is that I learned was that, people come in and out of our lives; each serve a purpose for you and can help you in moving forward. The hard part is determining why they either need to not be in your life, or why that person feels they need to slip away when you feel you need them most.
It seems that loved ones and close friends hurt you the most. Which makes sense, they also should understand you the most. However, there is a fine line from showing you the reality of a situation – which is good – and just straight up being rude, emotionless, and truly selfish. All too often people get caught up in the emotionless side of things, because it is easier, and what they end up doing is hurting those they chose to be in their life at one point.
Eventually though – people make the decision to rid those in their lives that bring them down. That is exactly what the ladder-half of my summer has been for me. Evaluating each relationship to determine is it really worth the effort I felt I was putting in. It isn’t that I want to just say goodbye, move one, and never talk to these people again. I set out to determine how much effort I wanted to put into each relationship I had.
What I discovered was that I felt I was putting more effort in than I was getting back. Let me remind you here, this is how I felt. No one can control how you feel except for yourself. So I felt it was best to take a step back with friends, focus on what I love, my career, and discovering myself in greater detail.
What I think my “friends” think is that I hate them, or that they aren’t good people, or that I don’t want to be around them. But what they need to realize is that I wanted to be around them so much that I put more effort into everything than I felt I received back. After continuing to do this, I eventually felt I couldn’t do it anymore. What I believe is – that is okay to feel that way. I’m currently about building relationships with as many people as I can to see where, in several years, my life really is. Building a good foundation for friends, a romantic relationship, and a solid core of people who will do anything for you – even when you don’t ask. I can’t focus on any one group of friends, any one person, more than the next. Life is about people, not just the people you know.
With each of the moments I’ve had lately I feel a storm rolls across the Salt Lake valley, cleansing my mind, my relationships, and gives me a chance to start something new – whatever I may choose. Just like a cheesy romantic movie – a good rain, some dramatic music, and a montage – life gets better after it rains. I couldn’t be more excited to see where life is going. I’m scared to death, but I think it is a good thing to continue to progress.
To all those reading this that I know, just know that you’ve helped me in so many ways. And I hope no matter what – no hard feelings. And I mean that.
What emotion does the sound of rain pitter-pattering outside your window, or the touch of rain on your skin, do to you? Comment below!