Lately I’ve felt like so many people don’t have the respect they should for both their friends and potential mates. I’ve heard from numerous people who are dating, in a relationship, or even married, about things they wish their significant others would do to show they care just a little more than a few words. As you know, actions do speak louder than words. So take action, and maybe you can hit that goal of getting laid – either one time – or every night. Or you know get that promotion you want at work – who knows. Kindness goes a long way.
These next items are a few things you can do to show you care about someone. This will allow you to get to know someone new, strengthen current relationships, and build more respect for yourself in your personal relationships.
Be the person you want to be. If you don’t want to be the person I outline below, you may not be the person for me.
- Text them good morning or goodnight. It’s simple. It’s not hard. And if you are a very busy person because of work or life in general, at the very least it shows you thought about them.
- Ask them not what they are up to, but if they are up to do something with you at this time, doing this, with whomever. Have confidence in yourself, and put yourself out there. It’s really hard to do, but you’ll gain more knowledge about someone’s personality without the frustration of the “what’s-up” game. It’s a thing, check your Tinder, Grindr, or even your texts – you’ll see I’m not lying.
- Open doors for others. This drives me crazy! Don’t just open the door by holding it open while you continue to walk in. Hold the door and let people pass you by. It isn’t a pride thing, they aren’t better than you for “passing” you. It’s showing that you’ve got respect for them. This isn’t for just dates; this can be for anyone. Including the couple just a few steps behind you.
- Call them! I’ve been trying to do this more myself – but call the person if you are able to, even if it’s for 5 minutes. It’s nice to hear their voice – and at this point this could set you apart from all the other potential assholes – I mean candidates for marriage – I mean dates. Whatever, you get my point.
- Let someone into the line of traffic! We should all take turns to let others in, in fact notice it actually helps keep traffic moving. So don’t be so selfish. However, don’t be so selfish to not use a blinker and wave to the driver letting you in. That’s respect! And if this happens with someone in the car – let’s say a date – they can see you’re kind and courteous.
- Don’t ask who is coming to the party. If you cared about the one person inviting you, it shouldn’t matter who else will be there. Unless you have some crazy stalker drama – you should be able to work it out. That being said, there is a fine line to this – you still may want to know. It is just how you approach it. Don’t let it be the first question you ask after being invited.
- Be honest. So many people hide so many things for no reason. Why? Sure it’s hard to say yeah I went on a date to someone else you want to date, but at least they know where they stand, and this can really open up your communication as the relationship may progress. Also, in today’s world where you can see when someone has been online, don’t try to hide anything. If you aren’t interested, say so. If you think you talk to the one person too much, tell them (but that also means you should probably move on if that bothers you). Oh so many things could be said here, but at the end of the day why waste time and energy lying? It helps no one.
- Don’t ask, just do. In some instances don’t ask someone to do something – just do it! We’ve all had those days where we just need someone to be there. However, showing the complete vulnerable side can be difficult. Have the understanding of certain cues that indicate someone needs you; especially in the instances of a more traumatizing event, health issues, or even just a rough day at work. Dude, you should just be there. Don’t ask, go! And maybe take them dinner or something nice – nothing big or elaborate. It’s the effort that people remember, not what you physically bring them.
- Don’t say, “lets hangout,” go on a date. (Applicable only to dating) If you met someone online and you say lets hangout, the person you met should probably walk away right then. Offer to go on a date. It doesn’t have to be complicated, even a walk in the park with coffee could be considered a date. Don’t be scared of the label, “date,” there is still no commit other then giving someone the sole attention they deserve for close to an hour or so.
- Get off your phone. While on that date, unless you are an on-call doctor or something crazy comes up – try to detach yourself from your phone as much as possible. I struggle with this greatly, as I want to keep up with my life that’s going on. My phone isn’t everything though, so I try to enjoy the moment I’m in instead.
- Don’t do things and expect something in return or collect on later. You don’t get an extra card in the game of life, you do it cause you genuinely care and want to help someone out.
- Support their wants/needs. Individualism is important in any relationship – you still have to be you. Don’t stifle someone’s creativity, or not support their thoughts or opinions. Believe it or not it’s okay to not be the same 100% of the time. The key is communicating about this. If they have kids, those kids need the support as much as the person you care about.
In summary, meeting people is hard enough, why do we complicate it? We are all being too selfish, let go of yourself for a little but and who knows, maybe the reward you are looking for will be given.
What are a few things that you think could help in managing any type of relationship? Comment! I’d love to hear them.
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