I know what you are all thinking, Tinder? Really? Yes. Tinder.
Some of you may think of Tinder as a desperate attempt to find love, or whatever, while others are thinking that you’re “too good” for Tinder. But what does that mean? Why are you too good to be on Tinder? It has been an extraordinary place for me to meet amazing people in cities when traveling or even at home in Salt Lake. I’m no better than the next guy.
I’ve honestly probably matched with over 2,000 people on Tinder in my time, but even after all the gaming – no serious relationship has really come of it, that has lasted at least. Some would say that just goes to show you it is superficial. To that I say, “It is only superficial if you get on to swipe, see what league you are in, and never try to connect with those you match with.”
It is a conundrum I haven’t quite understood on Tinder – getting on to literally meet people because you either want friends, someone to talk to, or are a hopeless romantic looking for your Romeo – but hardly ever engaging in conversation for someone to become that Romeo.
Love isn’t always fairytales, and it certainly comes in strange ways. Perhaps it is Tinder for you, however, it only will work because you communicated through the app.
1. share or exchange information, news, or ideas
2. to transmit information, thought, or feeling so that it is satisfactorily received or understood
Did you read that definition?
The verb communicate means that all parties involved are transmitting (in this case) written word.
This means that you must write something to get something back. For those who say Tinder is shallow, it is only shallow because they don’t use it for its intended purpose, communication.
I’m baffled that of the hundreds of people I’ve matched with, very few ever even reply – and most can’t hold a conversation for one reason or another. While I understand that someone may lose interest, or doesn’t reply right away – don’t not try, or un-match me if you don’t want to talk anymore. For those who do hold a conversation, sometimes it still dies out for one reason or another, or I’ve made great friends, even dated a few guys. Most of which I… learned a lesson or two to say the least.
What do I mean by try? Don’t just send one-word replies. Don’t reply with a statement only about yourself without trying to continue the conversation with another question. Communication should be two sided.
I get very frustrated that I’m usually the one asking the questions about someone’s day, their job, family, friends, hobbies, with hardly anyone asking about mine. I usually reply with something like this. “Oh yeah, I enjoy going camping and four wheeling too. That is fun you went this past weekend.”
But they don’t really care.
Out of all my matches, I would say less than 50 people I’ve met. (Sounds like a good number, I have no idea the actual number). However, every single match has received a message from me at least once.
I’m not praying, and hoping I find the one on Tinder, I think it helps me when I’m lonely or bored – and believe it not I do get lonely. I also think it helps me see the world from more than just my perspective. It’s fun to hear about events and happenings in other places, or other groups of people. I also wouldn’t mind it if I did find someone so awesome on Tinder, that perhaps they become the one. (the one, being a post for another time).
However, that only happens if you communicate. Have I said that enough? I think I have.
Needless-to-say, I challenge you to do a better job at talking to your friends, colleagues, boyfriends, girlfriends, dates, Tinder matches, whomever by communicating and engaging in a conversation.
Yes, there is small talk, but break past that and discover a new friend, or even a new flame – get it? Isn’t that why you downloaded it in the first place?
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